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23/10/2009 Is It a Cold War There? I used to keep good relationship with my girlfriends, but just before they got a man. Usually when they have the partners, they like keeping distance, and i can understand that, they need sweet passionate time. And sometimes we hang out together, but they always kiss and flirt in front of me, kind of try to tell me, 'he is my man, get away from him'. How ridiculous, i just try to be polite and talk to them, and especially also they came to talk to me! Don't need to be upset, if you got confidence enough, you'll know i'm not your threat.
K and O are the perfect couple, well, kinda of. They were fun, smart, we had good time during party. One day O talked to me, with a little flirting. I felt odd and embarrassed, then i told K. But she got so nervous and angry, told everyone that i cheat her. What the hell! Hallo, are you alright?
I told her i didn't udnerstand why she was so upset, and she said I couldn't understand because i'm a single. And what! Single women prowl the city hoping to have fun with their men's dicks? When someone be together, or get married, all bets are off. We become the enemy. You know, be together women become upset because they know we can have sex anytime, anywhere, with anyone. And they're afraid that, we're gonna have it anytime, anywhere, with their men.
Did you ever got the 'poor single' thoughts in a party? Well, when you're the only single person at a party, they look at you like you're a loser, leper, whore! Exactly! Be together people are the enemy! Is that right? Were we enemies? Is there a secret cold war between singles and couples? Jonathan said "No, it's not a cold war. It's an out and out battle. And it isn't just straight people.''
Sometimes I am thinking, maybe the cold war isn't about hate, maybe it's about fear, fear about unknown. Be together people don't hate singles, they just want us 'figured out'. It is the time to stop all this speculation and infiltrate the enemy camp. 16/10/2009 He's just not that into you He's just not that into you, if he is not asking you out. An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the frienddship'. If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will. Men don't forget how much they like you.
He's just not that into you, if he's not calling you. If he's not calling you, it's because you are not on his mind. Don't be with someone who doesn't do what they say they're going to do. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn't follow thtrough on little things, he will do the same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he's okay with disappointing you.
People tell you who they are all the time. When a man says he can't be monogamous, you should believe him. Companionship is wonderful, but companionship with sex is even better. If you're tempted to spend countless nights just cuddling with someone, then buy a puppy.
16/10/2008 Fucked up 感情之中，付出多的一方，不一定就是失败的一方。而一个人对另外一个人好，永远不会白费。至少，若干年之后，耿耿于怀，突然泪流满面的那个人，肯定不是你。That doesn't mean I always have negative idea, maybe just I know everything, I can see everything clearly, but the problem i can't do that, still act negetive. There is a small knot indeep of me, I can't move on, I can't give it up.
14/08/2008 what's soul mate? "Hey, Judy, i will get marry next month.."
"Congratulations, so that person should be your soul mate,rite?"
"I'm not sure, sometimes i don't think i can tell her the thing so deep in my mind?"
"Oh, i get it. You don't know whether she can be your soul mate, but you are going to marry her? That's not fair. or you couldn't find anything better than this you can do.."
"I don't even know what a soul mate is, do you?"
"I think, the person who makes you be the most "you" that you could possibly be."
"But sometimes i doubt it, and maybe i changed a bit for her, but that's not smooth."
"Yeah, maybe your soul mate is the person who forces your soul to grow the most. Not all growth feel good, you may feel stress or realize something special. You wanna avoid it, ignore it, but actually you still know she is important to you. That called soul mate...." 24/06/2008 Are Men Necessary? Are men necessary? Are men afraid of smart, successful women? WHy did feminism fizzle? Why are so many of today's women freezing their faces and emotions in an orgy of plasticity? Is "having it all" just a cruel hoax?
Some girls are witty and wide-ranging to think about it, they look at the state of the sexual union, rasing bold questions and examining everything from economics and politics to pop culture and the "why?" of the Y chromosome, which has been shedding genes over evolutionary time, may disppear entirely within the next ten million years, a hypothesis countered by newer studies showing that the Y of the human species has been stable for the past six million years. Neither development, of course, has any bearing on the coupling opportunities for humankind as we know it.
For men. Friends and more, past, present and future. You know who you are.
Probably women's question addresses the confusion of postfeminist dating, gender conflicts in the workplace, the media's disparate treatment of men and women, the global culture's saturation with sexual imagery, our collective obsession with youth and appearances, the objectification of women by men and , finally sex as "a tripwire in history."
I am not totally agree with these opinion, but it's fun to know these ideas^^ In today's sexual politics, are women equal--- and are men even needed? When sexes Collide.
Yiyi said," I don't even understand what I don't understand about men. They're a most inscrutable bunch, really."
Shirley said," I had a moment of dazzling clarity when I was 27, a rush of confidence that I had cracked the code. But it was, alas, an illusion." "I think I overcomplicated their simplicity. Or oversimplified their simplicity. Are they as complicated as a pile of wood? Or as simple as a squid?"
I was loath to accept the premise of Jerry Seinfeld, who claims that "men are really nothing more than extremely advanced dogs" who want the same thing from their women that they want from their underwear:" A little bit of support and a little bit of freedom." Maybe just sometimes we are too mature, just being OLD WORLD, like a poem said:
By the time you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying---
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying. 20/06/2008 desprated girls? Actually these days we always talk about relationship with suppliers assistant, then we found an interesting problem, except one girl in Nanjing will get marry this August, others are all singal.. What happened to us? They said the male and female rate in shenzhen is 1:7, that means guy is so popular there, ok, we accept it, but how is north or east, people in Qingdao or Shanghai or Hangzhou, all said it's hard to find a guy....totally no idea. Or are we picky? I don't think so....Everyday Jenny and I stay in the office and shout, where is the guy?
This noon, seems like it's a good day, hot and a lil sun shine..then my co-worker decided to go out for a walk.
Jenny and I went to TIME SQUARE to check some new style of ZARA, the most popular skirt are all same style--- long enough till ankle, so you should be so slim and tall enough...ok, the height we can't change, but maybe lose weight is possible...err, the question is coming, where is the power to keep the shape? Then we made joke, find a guy, and get power to keep shape and energy...hengheng, the old problem back again!
One more thing i don't understand is, sometimes girls can gather together,talk and gossipe, seems like they know each other for years, Why? For examle, i joined Luana's bday party last Friday, Veit's gf, Matteo's gf and Max's gf sat together, talking and laughing, I heard what they talked about---their boyfriends and their relationship. Yeah, that's weird, girls' topic always about guys or their boyfriends, then they think you are not dangerous, or can be trust you? How tragical...
Ok, I don't care, I'm tired about these silly and usually can get nervous things. Why always need a guy, for company? or for some needs? We still can live so well without a man, be independent, be smart, be confident... 10/04/2008 Is It Important_ Does your partner ever asked
how you feel about him?
If he does,
that's a warning that you are not shwoing to him
how special he is to you.
If you do not nurture a loving relationship,
you could just let a "good thing" slip your fingers.
Try these easy, yet inexpensive ways
to show him that you really care,
and see,
how much love you will receive in return. 26/03/2008 La Pasion Love is wonderful, people feel sweet and passionate when they fall in love. But why they have this feeling?
According to the British "Guardian" reported on 5th,Dec. Scientists recently devoted to the tracking of such animals to study their brain and the behavior of their love with the demise of a process, the results of the two scholars after found that when male and female voles after mating, both of them will be loyal to the life and relationship, whenever this time, mating voles will release a lot of brain dopamine--- called "feel good" chemicals.
We usually called that dopamine as"poisons of love". When they injected into these chemicals to the make voles brain, who have never been mating, it was found that these small guys immediately give up the pursuit of other female voles, but wholeheartedly want to be hanging around that female vole which one he fall in love at the beginning. It's the same theory to human being.
But the point is, most of time, we can't be loyal to only one all the time, so what's the problem? It is--- dopamine is a substance from tyrosine metabolism, the brain neurotransmitter, is a sentimental people's material. Another hand, we also secret posterior lobe oxytocin in the meantime. Dopamine and oxytocin's secretory proportion gives affair a reasonable explanation. Some people always secret dopamine but refuse oxytocin-secreting, then they always fall in love with different people. The thing in their brain called phenylethylamine, it's small but really important, can let them fully immersed themselves in the happiness of passionate.
In the brain, we called love as chemical cocktail. Means, when you be together for long, then the body will produce anti-bodies for these three substances, especially phenylethylamine level is gradually declining. After this, or men and women should be separated, or have affair. That's why 30/40-year-old people's marriage is frail and weak. In other words, that chemial maybe more important than spirit and love.
Now I totally understand why R can be a really good lover. Perhaps he only secrets dopamine but no anti-body. He always change girls, doesn't wanna get into any relationship, then can keep the fresh feeling and high level phenylethylamine.
My question is, when the situation changed, time passed, no passion anymore, what should we do? Keep hunting, or take an injection to get more dopamine?
25/03/2008 It Is Girls' Things Peple said, one of the best things about being in a great relationship is feeling comfortable enough to leave it for several days. Then we can find the feeling will be more stronger. I can't tell, I just try to control myself not miss someone, it's better to not let others know your feeling especially in this too realistic world.
A girl called Daisy just left me a msg, asked whether there is any possible that can start a relationship after one night stand. Sweetie, that's possible. Some people especially foreigners think it's better to try sex at the beginning, then will figure out whether you two match or not. Someone prefer that, but not my style. Usually can give guys a sign, that you are not only open minded, you are also easy, too easy probably... DAMN...That thought makes me exhausted...
It's hard to eat just organic all the time. Last night, I could not stop thinking about a Big Mac. Really hope my body can be always amazing. I'm having nude or any sexy photographs taken in spring or summer. "Are you going to hand them out to prospective dates?" Jonathan laugh at me so loudly. Jonathan is a cute boyfriend of mone, I mean B-O-Y friend, I used turn "boyfriend" loosly as Jonathan is clearly a homeosexual.
This is not about a man's approval. This photo is just for me. When I'm old, I can look at it and say, "Damn, I was so hot." Isn't that narcissistic?
Guys always masturbate, 'cause they need that, and from the medical way, they should do that three times a week. Sounds so crazy, huh? I know most of guys imagine some sexy hot girls when they do that. I don't know whether girls also do that, well, I DIDN'T. Maybe I feel a bit embarrassed. But we can talk about that. When some girls gathered together this noon, we discussed that IF we have masturbate, what kind guy we will imagine. We can masturbate to whomever we like. It's imagination. It's fun and perfectly healthy.
"Who do you all fantasies about?" Richard asked me.
"George Clooney and Hugh Jackman." I replied. Yeah! We laughed and handclap. It's amazing, they are like a Chanel suit, will always be in style. How sexy are they!
Now I just found, even old men, they still have fantasies probably. An old man lives in another building in my community, every morning when I take Loopy out for a walk, and then I can see him, sitting on a bench, keep looking those elder ladies dancing and doing exercises. So weird, I can't believe it, he can sitting there for 1 or 2 hours, just keep looking. God, that kind of NEED is for everybody!
Girls are always interested in any kind of topic, that's us! 'Cause we are growing up, we need to know more about life, men and sex, to learn more about relationship...
19/03/2008 Is It a Rule? If you're serious about this guy, you can't sleep on the first date. The number of dates that you wait to have sex is proportional to your age. Well, forget the math, just don't fuck on a first date, you're fine. Someone think a guy just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first date. Isn't it better to find out if the sex is good before anybody's feeling get hurt? True romance cannot exist without good sex, and yet you can have good sex with someone you don't respect, or even remember. But sometimes you can't be hemmed in by rules, you go with your emotions. I mean some of the greatest romances of all time began with sex on the first date...I bet... 25/02/2008 What the Hell Valentine's Day Valentine's Day again, really have nothing to say, well, I'm not a judgmental girl. It's my 24th no-lover's Valentine's Day, will spend it alone again, and this time is different, I'm in the train...And people I know are all have partners this year, even Cecily and Akemi.
Somewhere out there, I am alone again. The universe may not always play fair, but at least it's got a hell of a sense of humor. Someone once said that when one door shuts, a window opens.
Welcome to the "age of un-innocence". Instead, we have breakfast at 7am, and affairs we try to forgot as quickly as possible. Self-protection and closing the deal are paramount. Cupid has flown the co-op, how the hell did we get into this mess? There are thousands of women like this in the city, we all know them and we all agree they're great, but they're alone. It's like the riddle of Sphinx. Why are there so many great single women and no great un-married men? Sometimes in my opinion, I think they only place where on can still find love and romance in Shanghai is the gay community. Straight love has become closeted.
We are just in our early-twenties now, and usually think hardly to find a boyfriend. Is it hard exactly? Actually we always find out excuse for FEELING, feeling is important, no feeling no love... I started thinking about expectations. We're aware, as smart, single women, that we can't expect perfection. But life still manages to throw us curve balls. Maybe, once you're into your late-twenties, it shouldn't be called dating. It should be called "waiting for the other shoe to drop". Why is it always something?
That French Chris came back with his girlfriend again, it's the 4th time. I was surprised, but also feel happy for them. Though he worried about best sex life besides still love her. (They are pisces and scorpio, it's said they'll have perfect sex if be together.) Surprised that some guys also believe in star sign. To me, I have some problems probably, I cann't back with ex again, and can't even be friends. Did I lost the ability to love? Am I a loser in love? Bummer...
In fact, just when you was there, then you know what exactly happened. What I know now, is I'm afraid to try anymore, not I'm scared to be hurt, just I'm tired to figure out and have a try..but be honest, I'm totally move on, It's over.... 06/02/2008 Love Will Keep Us Alive "Leyli and Majnun" by Nizami Ganjavi is an immortal love story sometimes compared to "Romeo and Juliet" though it predates Shakespeare in oral traditon by more than 1,000 years. Of course there are still a lot of love stories happened in the past and nowadays, like the opera Aida by Giuseppe Verdi, Liang Shanbo & Zhu Yingtai--- the Chinese Romeo and Juliet. Today, they are still the most popular epics of the world. I hardly cannot understand why people don't believe true love in modern life. We should believe it, love will keep us alive.
The future is veiled from our eyes. The threads of each man's fate extend well beyond the boundaries of the visible world. Where they lead, we cannot see. Who can say that today's key will not be tomorrow's lock, or today's lock not tomorrow's key?
Dearest heart, if I had not given my soul to you, it would have been better to give it up for good, to lose it forever. I am burning in love's fire; I am drowning in the tears of my sorrow; I am the moth that flies through the night to flutter around the candle flames. The invisible candle of my soul, does not torture me as I encircle you! You have bewitched me, you have robbed me of my sleep, my reason, my very being.
Time passes, but true love remains. The life of this world is, for the most part, nothing but a succession of illusions and deceptions. But true love is real, and the flames which fuel it burn forever, without beginning or end.
Every breeze that blows
Brings your scent to me
Every bird that sings
Calls out your name to me
Every dream that appears
Brings your face to me
Every glance at your face
Has left its trace with me
I am yours, I am yours
Whether near or far
Your grief is mine, all mine
Wherever you are.
In the garden, the leaves were falling like tears. The flowers had cast off their many-colored summer gowns and donned the somber robes of autumn. The silver of the lily had lost its luster; the rose wept petals as it mourned the passing of summer; the narcissus bade it's companions farewell and made ready to depart. As the garden slowly withered, so did the people who don't trust love: their spring was over, made winter by the freezing finger of FATE, by the icy touch of life's most trying tribulations.
We should trust love, love will keep us alive! Love is the omnipotent medicine to us!
06/01/2008 Satiric Once upon a time, someone came to Shanghai. Judy is attractive and bright, has the huge career ambition and wanna get a brilliant life here.
Two days ago, the cute Judy met a guy in Volar, Thomas---from South Africa, smart and open minded. They talked a lot that night, and be good friends. Well, you should know, 'cause he is that kind of "Gay straight guy", then it's easy to share a lot of thing about guys,relationships or something else.
Thomas has a little bit accent, Judy could barely understand him, but if his tongue could do that, she wondered what it could do to her...of course, nothing about sex. He is a sensitive person,his opinion about guys, girls or relationship is pretty impressive and satiric.
"Every time you get near him you turn into this pathetic, needy victim."
"Sweetie, someone totally believe that love conquers all. Sometimes you just have to give it a little space. That's what's missing in Shanghai---the space for romance." Judy couldn't resist her own reflection in his smudged lenses. He is right, one of the best things about living in a city like Shanghai is just leaving it. No matter how well you think you know Shanghai, there's always somewhere or someone new to discover. 25/10/2007 All about ages? Ⅱ Larry these days usually complained about women. How hard to know them, how unfair to show himself emotion. Last night he told me,"Look, if you're a successful woman in this city, you have two choice, you can either struggle to find a relationship or just go out and have sex like a man. " Was it true? Were women in Shanghai really giving up on love and throtting up on power? What a tempting thought.
Because this time there would be none of that messy emotional attachment.
I don't understand, did men secretly want promiscuous and emotionally detached women? Suddenly I Felt the wind knocked out of me. I wanted to crawl under the covers and go right to sleep..... All about age? Ⅰ When you're young guy in your 20s, women control the relationships. By the time you're in your 30s, you're devoured by women. Suddenly the guys are holding all the chips. It's "the mid-thirties power flip".
It's all about age and biology.
Most men are threatened by successful women. If you wanna get these guys, you have to keep your mouth shut and play by the rules.
The problem is expectations---older women won't accept what's available.
The older we get, the more we keep self-selecting down to a smaller and smaller group.
Men in their 30s, with the good body shape,a little grey, to me,that's much more sexy and attractive. Think about Geroge Gloony.
Men in their 40s are like THE NEW YORK TIMES crossword puzzle. Tricky, complicated, and you're never sure you've got the right answer.
18/09/2007 Wanna Settle down? Tae Peng just sent to me a wedding invitation, I was pretty surprised. He didn't have a gf for a long time, but actually he is ready to get marry. That girl is his best friend, they have a lot of common, can share everything..Well, both of them all get ready, why not? Congratulations, Tae, congratulations, Natasha....
Last night, I thought about what it takes to make a relationship work "till death do us part." Most singles have long-term success with friends. So maybe it is a better strategy to marry a friend. However, in the absence of sex---whether that's the arrangement or just what happens after a few years---what distinguishes this companion from your many other companions? When it comes to saying "I do", is a relationship without the zsa zsa zsu?
When we come to relationships, maybe we're all in glass houses and shouldn't throw stones. Because you can never really know, some people are settling down. Some people are settling. And some people refuse to settle for anything less...... 31/05/2007 Is it 20-something? Well, 'cause Sam felt so disappoint and hurt of her boyfriend, then asked Yumi and I went to Zapata's with her. Ok,fine, a short cab ride later, we found ourselves there. It was a tough town, hot places had the life span of a med fly. It was amazing, that night Zapata's was really like 20-something club. Here, everybody is in their 20’s. As I glanced around the room, I was amazed at the variety of great 20-something guys. The groovy guy, the corporate guy, the jock guy, the underage guy, and the really good kisser guy. Sam just complain her boyfriend ceaselessly, she said she will never back with him. She sai,"Well, i need fuck, i really need one night stand tonight. I have to move that shit man from my mind. But actually i miss sex with him,he is fabulous of that." Sounds a bit negative? It is Sam's style....
Ok, this morning i was waken up by her phone call. when I picked up the receiver, just heard "I was so fucked." I got it, she mean, literally. She has been fucked every way she can be. As I was drinking for my morning Latte, Sam proceeded to give me a run down of her night with Jon, no H, no inhibitions. "We did it with him on top, me on top, me on my side, him on his side. Oh god, yes, on his back, on his side, on his face..." What, oral pleasure, damn....Well, just one word, it is fabulous. These guys in their 20's are up for anything. Yeah, I think she is right. She is already 30 something, so sometimes she need someone to let her up...
Like Rudy and Linda kissed, right, just kissed, though she is still young, just in 20-something. But they just kissed for five hours, at the club, in front of the club, on the corner of the club. She forgot how much fun it is to just kiss, even if she did only get two hours sleep. Are men in their 20's the new designer drug? 28/05/2007 His.S.StoryHis. S. Story
his story, history
It was his story
It's really history now
A mind full of his story
Sad though 21/05/2007 safe or risk He is already said,we can't be together,why i still cannot move on,and forget him. If we are nothing now,why also can have sex? Is it kind of safe relationship(sex partner without feeling),or just take a risk? Though sometimes we have the classical sentence: I DO like you,but... What the hell!
I miss him, i really adapted his hugs,kisses and his smell. But he just rescue and try to leave me alone. Cuz we don't have any future,and i'm not the right style to get marry,to be his wife.
Is it safe sex for us? Odd how only when our physical life is at risk, do we follow certain guy to protect ourselves. What about our emotional lives? Wouldn't it be nice if there was a pamphlet to warn us what behaviour might be high risk to ourselves or our relationships? Even if you take precautions and emotionally try to protect yourself when you crawl in bed with someone, is sex ever safe? 04/05/2007 Je ne compte pas pour toi These days, seems like it's pretty a bad season, Cici, Xin, of ocurse and I were all over or kind of over with some guys. It's horrible, what happened between us? Just no special feeling, or we show too much more emotion? We are too care of them, but perhaps we are nothing to them, though sometimes they said "I do like you." It's a bullshit...In fact, there are some girls be with them already, or in their heart again. It's so quick.
Well, they're over us. It's just so hilarious. I'm haemorrhaging inside. We thought they were pining away and they have new girlfriends already! The point is not if they were cute. The point is, they were there, actually they were cute, very cute. How can they have new relationships already? We're still in the "I just broke up with someone" phase. It's infuriating. Woman sit around obsessing about what went wrong over and over, and men just say"all righty" and move on. By the way, I definitely do try to figure out what went wrong, but I don't think that I obsess. Lol, I take offence at that, not all women sit around and obsess about men, as soon as Linda's relationship (or should call them dates) are over, she move on. Sometimes we are Miss Obsess, guys were tricky, we don't know what happened. Perhaps we should have a relationship rear-view mirror. Relationship may appear closer than they actually are. It's so much easier for men to move on. Is it? Come on! The ratio of women to men in this city is huge. All they have to do is sit outside, have a beer and wait for girls to come to them. Maybe we only obsess over relationship that feel unfinished. Men never think anything is their fault. We are still young, shouldn't always get to thinking about men, women, and relationships. Or more to the point, how women feel men disappoint them in relationships. But still a radical, earth-shattering thought popped into my head. What if everything isn't the man's fault? After a certain age and a certain number of relationships, if it still isn't working and the ex's seem to be moving on and we don't. Perhaps the problem isn't the last boyfriend, or the one before him or even the one before him. Could it be that the problem isn't them, but horror of horrors, is it us?
Sometimes guys can said, "I'm really care to get marry." Then maybe girls will be excited or began to consider something about their future. But probably his meaning is, "I want to get marry, I need a good wife, I have to be serious." That just means you are not the right woman can be marry with him. He just want break, and find out someone else.
Damn, perhpas they never care about us, just always think "why not?", just want to be with us to enjoy and relax, but they don't know sometimes we regard that kind of relationship as a bit serious. This is girl, it's normal. But they're afraid of that. We are nothing to them. We feel disappointment and hurt, but can we change it? The answer is NO, what we can do, is move on in a short time.... It needs time, and we will feel sad and despairing... But we will be more and more stronger, be more and more positive...
Father, please help me, out of this trouble. I tried, I still cannot move on, I'm tired about him...Je suis morte, je suis fatiguée°ci ho provato, adesso sono stanco~~ |
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